A friend of mine and I recently got into a debate about the messages we send to children about their career aspirations. My friend said that her main goal in life is to teach her kids to stay off the street corner and stay off the pole. I told her that I didn’t have a problem with sex work, and that if my hypothetical daughter wanted to make money giving hand jobs when she grew up, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. My friend was a little appalled at my point of view – and I’m guessing I won’t be getting any babysitting requests from her.
Let me start out by saying that there is a big difference between people who are sex slaves and people who consensually enter the sex trade. My argument is not that I would force anyone into prostitution. My argument is that sex work is a legitimate profession for the folks who choose it.
I am also not saying that kids should be sex workers. I’m talking about adults in the sex industry. I am decidedly against child pornography and little girls giving non-consensual blow jobs to grown ass adults who should learn how to keep their peepers to themselves.
Third, there is are all kinds of sex work – it is not a uniform industry – and some working conditions are better than others, just as they are with any other profession. If my child wanted to be a sex worker, I would encourage them to be very critical of their working conditions, just as I would if they wanted to be a chef or a hair dresser. A job’s a job, ya’ll – and you shouldn’t have to bust your ass in poor working conditions for low pay, regardless of what you do.
Ultimately I believe that all jobs are a form of prostitution. Some people say that sex work is demeaning. But I like sex. I would prefer to get paid to do something I like than to hustle for little money doing something that I hate. I think it’s more demeaning to clean hotel rooms (which I have done), wash dishes (which I have done), or work in an office with an asshole of a boss (which I have also done) than it is to help someone fulfill a sexual fantasy. If your kid’s dream is to become a rocket scientist – great. More power to them. If your kid wants to dig ditches – Goddess bless them. We need more of those ditches. And if your kid wants to grow up and pose nekkid while people take photos of them – good for them if it brings them a sense of satisfaction. It takes all types to make the world go around.
This is why I should never have children. Someone would call CPS on me, tell them that I have low moral standards, and my kids would be taken away from me.
I know there are divergent feminist views about sex work and pornography. I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comments section. Should parents tell their kids that sex work is a viable career aspiration? Or should we all have a goal of keeping folks off of the pole? Tell me what you think.
If you want to know what else I’ve got to say about sex work, check out these older posts:
Holland to Start Taxing Prostitutes
Are Women Coming Out on Top of the Porn Industry?
Prostitution Outlawed in Rhode Island
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Serena is a freelance writer who enjoys baking, protesting, and playing with little dogs. |
I’m going out on a limb and guessing this was the post you thought would knock people socks off?!
Imaginarily, I’d like to believe that all work is equal and that all degrading work is equally degrading, but I’m not sure I can go there. I like that you point out that you’d want your (also imaginary) kid to have good working conditions regardless of where she was working–because as much as we all know that women can be abused even in the very best of environments, I think sex work, or at least most of what we think of as sex work, makes the worker with the hand, the mouth, the vagina or penis into more of a thing than “regular” degrading work can. I feel like people across the board seem to have a hard behaving as if other humans are actually human. I don’t want them to get any encouragement!
That said, great food for thought! Of course so much of what is wrong with our culture is wrong because we’ve got a weirdass view of sex. Anything that gets people talking enough to ponder that is good in my book. Maybe we could get somewhere if every time someone wanted to have sex with another peson they had to think about whether they would want their son or daughter to be in their sex partner’s position. (So to speak!) Not sure there’s really any way to instill empathy, but it would sure be fun to watch just to see what happened …
Jodi – I appreciate the feedback. My intent in writing this post wasn’t to intentionally push people’s buttons. I just honestly think there is a lot to be explored when it comes to feminist attitudes towards sex work and pornography.
I think you make a good point of folks trying to empathize with other people’s attitudes about sex by putting themselves in the position of the sexual partner. THAT’S some food for thought.
>This is why I should never have children. Someone would call CPS on me, tell them that I have low moral standards, and my kids would be taken away from me.<
I disagree. I think this is why you *SHOULD* have children!
If we're talking about grown children (adults), which I believe you are, then no one would be calling CPS. And accepting your (grown) children's decisions and trusting their own judgment when it concerns their own (adult) lives even when – no, ESPECIALLY when they're doing things you don't understand or wouldn't choose for them or for yourself.
That is one of the hardest thing any parent can do and something not that many even try to.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.