I recently had a minor altercation with a meat-head at the gym. You know the type . . . uber-muscly dude with an attitude problem, likes to look at himself in the mirror while he lifts weights. You know the guy I’m talking about.
I was lifting weights last week with my work out buddies, and we were all rotating on 3 different machines. This guy totally cut in on us without asking and proceeded to talk smack when we asked him to wait his turn. Things got heated, a manager was brought over (who sided with the meat-head), and words were exchanged that can’t be repeated in mixed company. I walked away from the situation while my friend went toe-to-toe with this dude because I needed to cool off. I have a tendency to throw punches. In the end, the guy told my friend that we didn’t know what we were doing and shouldn’t be at the gym anyway, and that’s when the wheels fell off the car.
Let me tell you about my friend. She is a marathon runner and long-distance cyclist. This woman has ridden the DALMAC multiple times. For those who don’t know, the DALMAC is a 400 mile bike race. Home girl is at the gym every day after running several miles in the Arizona heat. If anyone knows what she’s doing, it would be her.
The problem with this scenario is that meat-head’s hyper masculinity came up against our perceived femininity. My partner is transgender, so meat-head read him as a girl. He let us know that we’re chicks, so we shouldn’t be lifting weights. That’s boys’ territory. It’s not hard to understand why all-woman gyms like Curves have been so successful. But Curves supports anti-choice organizations, and they’re not transgender-friendly. Which leaves me to wonder . . . where can I find a feminist gym, and what would a feminist work out space look like?
I think that the first issue to confront when imagining a feminist gym would be the bathrooms and the locker rooms. Trans folks have a hard time accessing the gym because of the need for a safe space to pee, and a safe space to change out. There could be single-stall, locking bathrooms so that anyone could take a whiz in privacy. And then there could be three locker rooms: men’s, women’s, and co-ed. In order to be a member of this feminist gym, prospective members would have to go through an interview process to find out what their bathroom/locker room politics are. If they can’t change out without getting in someone else’s business, they don’t belong at the gym.
The next issue would be stairs. There shouldn’t be stairs at a feminist gym, because they assume that all the gym members are able-bodied. There should be ramp access in and out of the pool. Anybody should feel welcome and able to work out at the gym, no matter what level of physical fitness they’re at, and no matter how able-bodied they are.
Speaking of the pool, people shouldn’t have to go through the locker room to get to the pool. Please refer to the locker room discussion.
At a feminist gym, high heels would not be allowed. To the ladies who wear heels at the gym, what is the point? You cannot safely work out in high heels. I can understand if you want to put on your lipstick before you hit the treadmill, but how can you honestly do your cardio in heels? No . . . no heels at the feminist gym.
As for classes, instructors would not be allowed to shame people for eating. How many of us have had to sit through spinning or zumba classes with an instructor belittling people for eating lunch that day? Going to the gym is about being healthy, and starving yourself is not healthy.
Along those lines, my feminist gym would have a juice/coffee bar with snacks. If I want to gulp a smoothie while I sit on the bike, I should be allowed. Please believe I’d be more excited about hitting the gym if I could get a latte on my way out.
Child care would be available at the feminist gym, and it wouldn’t cost the members extra.
In terms of the membership fee, it could be sliding scale based on income, with an opportunity for members to do sweat equity to cover the cost of their membership.
Finally, a feminist gym would have a sense of outreach in its mission. Building a house for Habitat for Humanity could be a work out opportunity. Or an exercise class could meet at the local park to clean up the trash. There could be smoking cessation classes, support groups for people with eating disorders, and cooking classes to help people learn how to make affordable healthy meals.
The underlying principal of a feminist gym would be that working out is about being healthy, not sexy. Advertisements would feature real members, not models. Classes would stress the importance of loving your body, rather than making people feel like they need to fit some mold of the perfect femininity/masculinity. And the locker rooms and walls of the gym could have self-esteem booster messages on them. Maybe members would give each other a fist bump when they finish a set. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if members supported each other’s goals?
What are your ideas for a feminist work out space? I am serious about the lack of a woman- and trans-friendly work out space, and I think that it would be awesome to have a collective of feminists who want to get their work out on. Think of the social change that could happen if we did.
Many of the things you mention are aspects of the Lifetime Fitness clubs around here. BTW, I don’t work for, and no longer belong to Lifetime…
The locker rooms have a “family” option — which I suppose would work in a pinch. Also, at least in the women’s locker rooms there are, in essence, privacy booths — you can go in, lock the door behind you and change.
They aren’t as good about handicap access, but you don’t have to enter the pool via the locker rooms.
They do have childcare, and I’m pretty sure it’s included in the membership fee.
When working out I didn’t notice much of a meathead mentality — and, the rules are clearly posted — so, if someone is breaking them there is an objective standard to follow.
I only took water aerobics classes, but there the only discussions of food were what to eat after class and were we were going to lunch
.
They also had salons and snack bars with coffee options…
1. There are people who work out in heels? WTF?
2. I’m not sure I’m down with making “healthy” and “sexy” mutually exclusive. Feeling sexy (in the self possessed confidence kind of way) can be highly empowering and really healthy.
While I think that working out in heels is ridiculous, I think that making it against the rules is going a bit far. If a gym that wasn’t specifically feminist were to outlaw wearing “shapewear” while working out, I personally would see that as trying to keep women from wearing clothes that make them feel more confident about their bodies. Obviously there are some things that it isn’t safe to do in high heels and putting signs by those machines or having the instructors of those classes say that athletic shoes are required for those activities is reasonable because safety is important, but there are some people, like me, who are much more comfortable in a low heels than flats, so it isn’t necessarily all vanity. While it would certainly be a good idea to recommend athletic shoes outlawing heels just because you think it’s ridiculous just seems judgmental to me.
I enjoyed this post. I am a female and found going to the small gym while I was in Iraq so uncomfortable that I stopped going entirely. I got sick of the combination of men who made unwanted comments about the effects of my working out (which is for health, not sex appeal) and men telling me to get off equipment- while I’m in the middle of a set- because they were ready to use it. Seriously?!
Thanks for all the feedback, ya’ll.
@ Philospher P – Your gym sounds a lot better than LA Fitness, which is where I currently go. I’ve thought of transferring to the Y, but LA Fitness is more convenient.
@ Amanda – I have seriously seen women come to the gym in heels. WTF? You also have a good point about sexy v. healthy, and I totally agree. What I should have said is that the goal of the gym is not to make people fit into a socially constructed notion of what beauty is.
@ Michelle – Your gym sounds just like mine, with one exception. There is this woman in the weight room at my gym who is a total hard body. I watch her working out (but not in a creepy stalker kind of way), and it’s so inspiring. She was doing 300+ pounds on the leg press the other day, and I was blown away. She lifts weights for 2 hours at a time. The woman is cut, and I am so impressed that someone so small (she’s short and thin . . . all muscle) can lift so much weight. I bet she could out-bench most of the guys in the gym any day.
I like your idea, and do not want to criticize too heavily, but please don’t forget what feminism means. It means equal rights for men and women. Not special rights for women. I have no idea who would even work out in heels, but I don’t think its fair to ban that idea. That itself it just making women conform to your ideas. Feminism is about letter women wear heels and be sexy if they WANT TO. The gym should be an inclusive place that allows men, women, transgender all equally. Things like stairs have nothing to do with feminism, it has to do with disabled peoples rights. Also, very important. I think you should focus less on women and more on humans. And, in Canada it is illegal to not have wheelchair access go a public place, so all gyms have access. Otherwise, I think your ideas are good and all people should be more inclusive of people working out EVEN IF they want to work out to look good, look sexy, look fit, feel better, live longer, etc. It shouldn’t matter what your reason as long as you’re respectful.
I go to a gym every day that has a womens only workout area. I have troubles too, as they dont cater for those that lift more than the 1-5kg pink weights. I have to bring in 2x 15 kg dumbells from the testosterone room, about 50 metres away on the other side of the gym, to the ladies area to utilise, then return them at the end of my circuit and have the stares and the just generally uncomfortable feelings assosicated with being gawked at by 20 + dudes.
When approaching my gym manager about it he brushed me off at my request for an increase in weighted dumbells and barbells in the ladies area, as it wasnt viable, all whilst looking down at my polite request as if i was a freak.
They are cunts usually, but in the end fuck anyone for trying to stand in the way of bettering yourself. The extra weighted walk to and fro definately wont hurt me, and if im really, honestly feeling unerved to the point of detriment for being looked at, then i best give myself a double dose of HTFU.
Soldier on ladies. xo
I’m terribly curious after reading this article:
Did you cancel your membership to the offending gym?
Danielle, that’s a legit question. No, I haven’t cancelled my membership with LA Fitness. I’ve had similar experiences at other gyms chains, so I don’t know that cancelling my membership will help me meet my fitness goals. But it’s definitely an option.
I would join this gym in a heartbeat. With the proven success of Curves, you may have a very viable business idea, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a gym like this already exists, though probably not as a chain.
Also, Zoe: you said “I have no idea who would even work out in heels, but I don’t think its fair to ban that idea,” and while I agree with your sentiment, I think any gym who allows someone to work out in heels is begging for a lawsuit. Requiring appropriate clothing is normal and sensible. You can’t wear sneakers and a sweater into the pool because it isn’t suitable swimwear and could weigh you down, and you shouldn’t wear heels on a treadmill because you run a very real risk of breaking your ankle. I think ALLOWING women to wear heels actually subtly implies that women aren’t “serious” about working out and there’s no way they would do anything intense enough to injure themselves.
As to the questions about what able-ism has to do with feminism – to me, feminism is about equality for everyone. It is about social justice. And I think that feminism requires us to think about the ways in which we are privileged. Being able-bodied is a HUGE privilege. I spent 6 weeks in a wheel chair after I broke my leg in 3 places, and it definitely helped me to experience the world in a whole new way. I think that feminists need to be concerned about much more than just “gender” issues.
I support your ideas, but I also want to make the point of what is and isn’t feminist. If you ban high heels because they’re stereotypically feminine, you’ll get backlash for being anti-feminine. If you ban them because they’re unsafe, you’re running a gym. Be careful where you tread because a lot of the women you’re catering to will want to be feminine while also being strong. There’s nothing wrong with femininity if that’s how you feel comfortable.
And I find it hypocritical that you continue to give your money to a place you pledge to defy. If you hate LA Fitness but it’s more convenient, it’s like shopping at Walmart while posting online about its scandals… you need to commit to the cause, or forget about it. There’s no “you should stand up against it, but I won’t.” It’s disheartening to see fellow feminists being weak like this.
I suggest you keep shopping around at gyms, and whenever you find problems, write to the manager. Tell him (or her) why you’re dissatisfied with the treatment there, what needs to change (in very concrete terms – rules enforced, weights available, but not “equality,” which is vague), and leave the club after a specified time if no change occurs. Don’t be confrontational, but make yourself clear and stick to your guns. If you continue to pay membership after making complaints like that, no one will take you seriously.
Sora,
The writer banning high heels at the gym is like a restaurant that demands its guests wear a shirt and a pair of shoes. There’s nothing offensive about the requirement.
In fact, some mature adults would recognize that the author’s suggestion are what some people call “rules,” which means they’re hers to create and enforce at her own discretion for her gym members.
I hope she remains at LA Fitness! Suggesting that she should discontinue being healthy and ban herself from accessing services over ONE isolated incident with a man who has shit for brains is offensive to me as a woman.
If the tables were turned and a female was angry with a man for using a piece of equipment, would that male quit the gym?
That is such a weak, pathetic suggestion: In the face of adversity you should just LEAVE?!
The author’s suggestions would be rules if this were an actual gym, however at the moment it is an idea based around an ideal, and besides, even if it were a “rule” already, it would behoove a gym owner to listen to their customers and change rules if the customers were complaining and it was reasonable to do so. The condescending tone of your comment is disappointing to me, implying that anyone who doesn’t agree with you is not a mature adult is probably not the best way to get your point across, and please note that I honestly am saying this not as a reproach to you but because I’m interested in making this a real discussion.
Ms Freewomyn,
Please don’t forget that Mr. Meat Head was just upset cuz of all the money he spends on ‘roids to attract women to his muscles so they’ll overlook his tiny dick.
I never knew that people worked out in heels. It would make things just soo hard! On several occasions, I’ve had to do deliveries wearing heels (and nice clothes under a surgical gown) and it wasn’t as comfortable as my good Dansko clogs. I would allow women to wear whatever though. I’m also looking for a nice feminist gym. Boston Healthworks (when I lived there) and 12th street gym in Philly are as close as I could get. Its time for a better gym!
Hi Kathy, I think people should be able to wear whatever they want, in general. But it’s not safe to do a treadmill or eliptical in heels, let alone squats, or any other sort of weights. From a pure liability standpoint, a business owner needs to think about minimizing the risk that their clients could hurt themselves while working out. That’s the only reason that I think heels have no place in the workout room.
Me? I would like somewhere I can swim without feeling ashamed that I’m a size 14 (UK, equivalent to a US 12), when everyone else seems to be a 10 or 12 (8&10) at most.
A no sneeering rule would be very nice.
I remember when my mom and I started training to get back into shape. Day 2 at the gym and while we were lifting she noticed a man staring at me. I was 14 at the time and felt it as well and glared at him. He kept looking back, but eventually walked off as my mom started to use the machine. He came back to ask, “Working chest?”, where my mom jumped in and said, “Yes, leave us alone.” Taken aback, he got pissed off and said my form was off and that I needed to straighten up. My mother was at first shocked, but then finally managed to respond, “I’ve been a personal trainer for 20 years. I know what I’m doing. Please leave us the hell alone.” The man didn’t leave and when my mother started telling him off again he just backed away yelling back, “Yeah right, neither of you know what you’re doing, I can tell just by lookin at ya!”
The amount of frustration and anger boiling and the strength it took to hold it back was an amazing exercise in self control.
For this and other related experiences with meathead dickwads at the gym, I fully support a transgender friendly, feminist gym.
Courtney, two enthusiastic thumbs up to you and your mom. Ya’ll are welcome at my gym any day!
You said that Curves was horrible, so that’s out. Have you heard anything of Fernwood or Contours? I think they might just be Australian though =/
Also heals really?!?!
Haven’t heard anything about either of those gym franchises, but if you try them out, maybe you could give us the scoop.
This was a great article – and I love that you included transgendered and able-bodied awareness in your feminist gym wish-list! I get what you’re saying about the heels – but I’ve seen male-identified folks working out in loafers before, so it’s not just female-identified people who might make unsafe workout gear choices!
Loafers! OMG – that’s so silly!
I had guys do that to me too. I’d go to use a machine and they’d appear out of nowhere saying they hadn’t finished and they had the right to use it. Lording it over someone smaller like that is so abusive.
I see the heels are a point of contention, so let me be the first person who wears heels to the gym to comment. I work out in heels because my job requires that I wear heels. Walking on a treadmill or using the elliptical in heels helps make standing in heels all day long easier. Yeah yeah yeah, you might think that heels are the root of al evil and my company is anti-feminine, but that’s beside the point. There’s nothing wrng with women wanting to set themselves up to wea heels more comfortably.
“I was lifting weights last week with my work out buddies, and we were all rotating on 3 different machines.”
It’s obvious you didn’t respect basic gym etiquette, which is to cheerfully allow others to work between your sets. It’s just not cool to hog a piece of equipment for 20-50 sets at a time.
Fwiw, y’all need to work a little harder to understand basic male communication unless you want to get into heated confrontations.
There’s rarely a problem as long as basic courtesy is maintained and you give the wrong-doing person a face-saving out. But when you flat-out demand submission to your demands it becomes impossible for the other person to gracefully back down.
Hence the guy who hit on a 14 year old couldn’t just walk away once her mother pretty much called him a creep, but had to mumble some irrelevant crap about benching form.
Similiarly it’s strongly implied Meathead in the OP:s story were told to fuck off, rather than politely asked to wait, and therefore escalation were inevitable. Especially as he basically were in the right.
Just got directed to this ridiculousness. ….
People who rotate around machines and expect to have them all to themselves for the entirety of the rotation are the most obnoxious people in the gym. Even worse, groups of people who do this. Who are you to expect to monopolize the equipment to the exclusion of everyone else?
And good luck with the transgender-friendly gym with total inclusion. I’m sure there’s lots of capital out there to help make your dream a reality.
Self-absorbed idiocy….
I am shocked that anyone would work out in heels in the first place… So i googled it to see if this was the case and a ton of articles saying taht working out in heels is sexy and healthy came up… People really don’t realize that wearing heels is almost as bad as Chinese foot binding or wearing corsets? It messes up your back (the human body was not built to have the heels raised 3 inches off the ground all the time). How does that empower women at all? The only reason we feel sexy wearing heels is because the media says so and so we accept this as true.
A gym that would promote equality would really be nice. Too bad that will be really hard to achieve because many people are stubborn about their ideas.
This only tells one side of the story. Clearly the “hyper-masculine meat head” was not given the opportunity for respect in the first place by the author and her friends. The reason the manager sided with the “meat-head” is because the group of people in the article do not understand basic gym etiquette and ALREADY HAVE BIAS AGAINST MASCULINITY. Two wrongs don’t make a right.