A New Condom: A New Way to Awareness

April is STD awareness month. In this context, it is necessary to recall that women are generally at a greater risk of heterosexual transmission of HIV. Indeed, biologically women are twice more likely to become infected with HIV through unprotected heterosexual intercourse than men. Moreover, let’s keep in mind that in many countries women are less likely to be able to negotiate condom use; consequently they are more likely to be subjected to non-consensual sex.

Hence the importance of a constant safe sexual behavior, required for women. So, what’s new in condoms? A non-latex condom! The first premium condom made from polyisoprene – a scientifically formulated non-latex material “that delivers the ultimate sensitivity that is the closest thing to wearing nothing”: SKYN®.

The majority of condoms available in today’s market are made of latex, but individuals who are allergic to latex can still enjoy safe sex with these breed of condoms. Non-latex condoms are condoms that are not made of latex and therefore have no latex allergens. [Read more...]

More Teen Boys are Wrapping It Up

The Associated Press reported some encouraging news this week: according to a recent study, a whopping 80 percent of teenage boys are using condoms the first time they have sex.  This is up from 71 percent in 2002, and 55 percent in 1988.

So what gives? Are teen boys proactively wrapping it up or are girls drawing a line in the sand and insisting on condoms?

It’s hard to say. My guess is a little bit of Column A, a little bit of Column B. But others are more skeptical. One young man interviewed said he would “be hesitant to give guys credit for coming up with this on their own.” Ha! [Read more...]

Safe Sex Roundup

With this week bringing a plethora of Cinco de Mayo (aka “Cinco de Drinko”) parties, I thought it might be a good idea to post some articles about keeping your drunken party fests safe.  Here’s the best of our safe sex posts.

Tips for Staying Safe While You Party
Condoms: What Are They Good For?
How to Protect Yourself from Herpes During Oral Sex
How Can I Intensify My Orgasm?

Condoms: What are they good for?

Used to be I could joke that the only people even talking about condoms were the teens on Daytime TV. Maybe it was all the celebrity babies, or the “bump” watches. But it didn’t seem like too many grown-ups were using them. (Or any other form of birth control, for that matter.)

Times have changed. Condoms are making a comeback. Thrusting their way into the media spotlight, so to speak.

First Nicholas Kristof wrote a column on contraception that practically put the condom out to pasture. His rosy prediction:

The next generation of family planning products will be cheaper, more effective and easier to use — they could be to today’s condoms and diaphragms what a smartphone is to the bricklike cellphones of 20 years ago. (Kristof, “Birth Control Over Baldness,” NYT, 9/26/10)

Condoms made the news again a few days later in the coverage of a new study on American sexual behavior published by The Journal of Sexual Medicine. The chief talking point? Sexually active teens are using condoms on a more regular basis than their Baby Boomer parents (and grandparents). Even when the parent or grandparent is having sex with a stranger.

The stories themselves are a mixed bag. If Kristof is right about the future of reproductive technology, it would not only be good news for women looking for effective forms of birth control—it could very well be the key to our survival as a species, given the threat of overpopulation. And if teenagers are using condoms more than boomers, well, that’s fewer unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases among teens. And for their elders? A lot of tough questions.  [Read more...]

BDSM Can Be What A Feminist Looks Like!

Question of the week:

Is it unfeminist of me if I like to be dominated in the bedroom? Am I selling out the movement if I let my partner tie me up?

Thank you for this excellent question, and let me begin with a resounding NO! It is likely that I will get some push back, and maybe even some strong resistance to this answer. There are some who argue that any thing that could be related to dominance/submission, violence, or physical restriction is inherently unfeminist…while I generally agree with these sentiments, I think that the bedroom is different territory…please hear me out. [Read more...]

Tips for Ringing in a Safe New Year

New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. Many of us will be toasting champagne and kissing some hotty at the stroke of midnight. But did you know that New Year’s Eve happens to be the biggest night of the year for birth control slip ups? Before you get your stroke on, here are a few tips for keeping it safe.

1. Put some condoms and/or dental dams in your purse. While safe sex is everyone’s responsibility, you can’t always count on your partner to be prepared. I like to think of condoms in my purse as good karma. (You know what I mean – putting out your expectations into the universe, and all that other hooey from “The Secret.”) If you expect to get laid, chances are that you probably will.

2. Have fun, but be responsible about your alcohol intake. People look way hotter when you’re drunk than they do when you’re sober. You might have sex with someone who wouldn’t get to first base without the influence of liquid courage. So get buzzed, but don’t get trashed. Your decision-making faculties will be much better if you’re not three sheets to the wind.

3. Emergency contraception is available if you forget to put a glove on it. EC is available over-the-counter at your friendly local drugstore. It’s also available at Planned Parenthood. So if you do have a mishap, take EC within 72 hours to prevent an unintended pregnancy.

4. Be a pal. If you’re not big on drinking, offer to be the designated driver. Keep an eye out for your friends at the party, and make sure that they’re not unwittingly getting themselves into a compromising position. You could also send them a friendly message the day after the party, just in case they need a helpful reminder about EC.

For more safe partying tips, check out this article from the FFC vault, or this fun guide from Shelby Knox.

Happy New Year everybody!

Is Birth Control Changing My Sex Drive?

Hi Steph,
I’ve been on the NuvaRing for a few months and I’ve noticed a big change in my sex drive (i don’t want to get it on anNuvaringymore!). What’s going on? Is it the hormones, or something else?

I bet super conservatives would love to get a hold of that — birth control that makes young people stop having sex! But in all seriousness, let’s take a look at what the NuvaRing website has to say about side effects. It doesn’t seem like a decreased sex drive was noted in any of their research. If you google NuvaRing and decreased sex drive, many women’s health forums come up with scary stories of women on the NuvaRing who’d rather claw their eyes out than have sex. Something serious seems to be going on that the NuvaRing company hasn’t investigated.

The best thing to do in this situation is talk to the healthcare provider who prescribed you the NuvaRing. Be prepared to answer pretty detailed questions like when you started noticing the changes, how often you used to have sex, how often you have sex now, etc. Your doctor isn’t asking you those questions to be pervy but to get a better understanding of how the hormones are impacting your day to day life. Finding the right birth control for your body can be tricky. It’s often a dance between what side effects you can tolerate and ones you can’t stand. [Read more...]

HIV Vaccine Study Explained

So yesterday morning I had a really brief post about the new HIV vaccine study that was announced this week. I asked a lot of questions about how the study was conducted, and NPR did a great job of unraveling the study yesterday afternoon. It made me feel like a smarty when they posed many of the same questions that I did.

Here’s the first clip from NPR:

And here’s the second clip from NPR:

[Read more...]

Condoms – Maximizing Sensation and Protection

condomsMy boyfriend doesn’t like to use condoms, because he says it decreases his sensation. He and I had unprotected sex and I got an STD. I don’t want to break up with him, because except for the condoms issue, he’s great. What can I do?

Dear Reader,

The most important thing about having sex is that it should be happening on your terms, not someone else’s. There is certainly room for negotiation, but you should never be forced to compromise your values. Given that, the easy answer is that if you want your sex to be safe, which seems to be the smart answer, then don’t have sex with him anymore unless he’s willing to wear protection.

This would also be a good opportunity to explore different kinds of protection in an effort to minimize the impact on sexual sensation. Many companies are releasing thinner condoms that have a create a smaller decrease on sexual sensation. There are also a variety of lubricants designed to increase stimulation. It may take a little experimentation, but finding the right combination of protection that creates an acceptable sexual experience for the two of you.

Also, make sure that your partner understands how important it is to you that he wears protection during intercourse, if your partner isn’t willing to have sex on your terms then don’t have sex at all. [Read more...]

Fannie’s Tips for Good Anal Sex

Dear Fannie,

I’ve been having problems with, well… my fanny. I’m the one random gay guy out there in the universe that doesn’t like anal sex. At least that’s the way it seems. It’s usually not a problem because me and whoever I’m dating can do a whole lot of other stuff that doesn’t involve that… but I find that we get to a point where I either have to pony up and get fucked or the relationship is over. My problem is just lack of experience. I had one really bad experience with anal sex and have sworn off it ever since. Any suggestions?

Anal Anxieties

Dear AA,

Believe it or not, there are plenty… I repeat: PLENTY of gay men who don’t do it up the butt. As much as pornography, pop culture, or other gay men would like you to think, I don’t believe that anal sex is nearly as ubiquitous as you have been lead to believe. Do a lot of gay men partake in anal sex? Sure. But do all view butt-fucking as the end all be all of their sex lives? No.

So I don’t think you should feel pressured to throw your heels up in the air every time you get a new beau. But it sounds like your struggles with anal sex are more centered around apprehension stemming from a bad experience. Anal sex is like wine. When it’s good, it’s really good. And when it’s bad, it’s really bad.  And both get better with time. [Read more...]