Women don’t do housework and men work too much?

Flipping through a local newspaper the other day, two short articles really stood out. These two articles confirm how we feel about inequality in Sweden; that it is often assumed an issue that has already successfully been dealt with. Many Swedes appear to think that as a country, we have reached equality or even passed to the point in which men are now considered the “second sex”. It is often reiterated that Sweden is one of the most equal countries in the world, if not the most equal country. To us, this overconfidence is very troubling because it leads to the denial of male privilege and the persistent influence and power of patriarchy.

The first article that seriously annoyed us discussed the historical origin of Mother’s Day, explaining that from 1920 and on, Mother’s Day was celebrated with breakfast in bed and a day off from cleaning the house and doing chores. The article stated that it was probably a more important day in the past when most women were responsible for taking care of the household. Say what? But most women are responsible for taking care of the household! They are also responsible for taking care of the children while often working on top of that. Are Swedish women really so lucky as to be free from household chores? Research on the topic says no. [Read more...]

How Do You Change Oppressive Gender Dynamics in Your Own Family?

I am currently visiting my family in Utah. I love my family, but the gender dynamics in their household have really got me down. My stepmom works a full time job, then comes home to cook dinner, water the garden, and clean up after my dad and brother. My dad and brother both work full time, but that shouldn’t excuse them from contributing to the household chores. It’s easy to dismiss the dynamics as being part of the Mormon culture, but that is simply unacceptable in my opinion.

I was really angry about this last week, but I decided not to run my mouth about the patriarchy. I have found that my family members just roll their eyes when I say things in anger. But this week I’ve spoken up. I’ve asked my dad to give my stepmom a night off from doing the dishes. I’ve suggested that my brother should be responsible for his share of the household work. And I’ve offered to help teach the men folk how to cook a simple meal so that my stepmom doesn’t have to cook on Sundays. All of this has fallen on deaf ears.

How do you change oppressive gender dynamics in your own family? It’s far easier to petition voters to protect reproductive rights than it is to talk about the patriarchy within our daily interactions with family members. Part of that is that familiarity breeds contempt. If a stranger slams the door in my face when I ask them to vote for a pro-choice candidate, it doesn’t hurt as much as a family member telling me that I’m “just a feminazi” when I ask them to pick their shit up off the floor. I don’t think that my dad or brother intend to be sexist. But they just assume that it is women’s work to clean the house and cook the meals. Boy wouldn’t they be surprised if my stepmom ever decided to go on strike? [Read more...]

The Continuing Debate Over the Work – Life Balance

work life balanceI recently went back to working a regular nine-to-five job after scraping by as a freelancer for the past 2 years. I have worked at a desk job since I was 15, so I never would have imagined the impact that going back to work outside of my home would have had on my life.

When I was a full-time freelancer, I could wash a load of laundry in between blog articles. My floors were spotless, because vacuuming is a great change of pace from writing. And I always had a homemade dinner, including dessert, ready to eat when my partner got home. Working from home was the perfect balance for me, because I could fit housework into my daily work schedule, I only had to commute from the coffeepot to my home office, and I could work in my bathrobe if I didn’t feel like dressing up for the day. It was a charmed life.

For the past 2 months, my life has seemed totally out of control. The house is a wreck, we’ve been eating out a lot more because I’m too tired to cook when I get home, and let’s just say that although the sex hasn’t disappeared, it certainly doesn’t happen as frequently when both partners are exhausted from juggling so many responsibilities. Something has got to give, because I cannot sustain a life that is totally out of balance. [Read more...]

When Will Men Do Their Fair Share of the Housework?

Last week I shared a clip from NBC’s “Today Show,” where California’s First Lady Maria Shriver discussed the changing roles of men and women. Shriver has co-authored a new report, called “A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything,” about the impact that the economic downturn has had on women in the US. Women have taken fewer job hits in the recession, and more men are becoming stay-at-home dads as a result of a contracted work force. However, despite these changes, women still do the majority of the housework and childcare – 86% of it, in fact.

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Shriver makes an accurate statement – that women’s lives will never be truly equal with men so long as they continue to remain the primary caregivers in our society. Although twice as many men are contributing to housework and childcare responsibilities as they were in the 1960′s, that number is still only at 30%. So my big question to you is this: when will men do their fair share of the housework? And why are we as women not demanding that the men in our lives become more self-sufficient? [Read more...]