MythBusting: Arguments Against Gay Parents Don’t Add Up
The importance recognizing gay rights in regards to parenting cannot be under stated. There are foster children that deserve loving homes and potential LGBT parents that have the love and resources to provide those children homes. Also, many custody issues arise when LGBT non-biological parents aren’t given legal parental status. These issues cost taxpayers’ money and emotionally strain parents, potential guardians and children.
Champions of inequality try to convince the public that LGBT people are not suited for parenthood. They disregard a lot of research instead perpetuating myths that are too wide spread and causing children to go without loving adults in their lives.
So let’s end the confusion. LGBT parents are needed and the arguments against them need to be put to bed. The following myths have no barring and should never be used in court cases or legislation regarding parental rights of LGBT people.
MYTH #1
Children need both a male and female role model in the home.
Looking closely at this myth you can see that its basic concern is that children of single-sex parents won’t be indoctrinated with strict gender roles. Now, recent study results have suggested that children of gay parents don’t feel as inhibited by gender stereotypes as other people. To some this may be a negative, but in actuality this is a wonderful development.
The truth is children will learn about gender roles through the media, entertainment and friends. It is not necessary for there to be a biological male and biological female in their household. Kids with single-sex parents are no more likely to be gay and/or transgendered than children raised by heterosexuals.
Anti-equality cronies will use some research that suggest that children of single parents may have some negative developmental outcomes such as substance abuse or dropping out of school. However, factors such as financial burdens, household conflicts, and abandonment issues are more likely causes of the negative behaviors than just the single parent aspect.
MYTH #2
LGBT couples can’t provide a stable home and don’t have successful long-term relationships.
First of all, several heterosexual couples get divorced and several LGBT couples make long lasting commitments. There are no studies that point to any type of significant instability specific to LGBT couples.
Some opponents to gay rights continue to believe that gay people have a mental illness. However, the American Psychological Association long ago dismissed homosexuality as a psychological disorder. Lesbian and Gay Parenting released by the APA states: “Results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.”
MYTH #3
Children of gay parents are more likely to be teased and stigmatized in schools and their social life.
The truth is that children can be cruel and bullying happens in every school and in nearly all groups of preteens and teens. So yes there is the possibility that children may experience some teasing based on their parents’ sexual orientation, BUT research shows that the likelihood of these children being teased doesn’t increase due to their parents’ sexual orientation. In other words, children will be teased about anything a bully can figure to tease them about.
It is up to adults to try to combat bullying and instill confidence in children that experience teasing. There is no evidence or argument to show that gay parents can’t be effective in doing those things.
MYTH #4
Placing children with gay parents is too new. There needs to be more research done on the effects of having gay parents.
Actually, there has been lots of research done on this topic. In fact, there has been more research done on gay parenting than some other non-traditional family structures such as children raised by stay-at-home fathers or grandparents.
The American Academy of Pediatrics, National Association of Social Workers and the Child Welfare League of America are in consensus along with the American Psychological Association that gay parents provide no threat to the development of a child and in fact may be wonderful parents.
Unfortunately, these are not the only arguments used by anti-gay rights advocates, but these demonstrate some of the most widely publicized propaganda regarding gay parenting. The evidence in this post and many empirical studies reveal that these myths are completely ridiculous. Hopefully, when I have children and they grow up these issues won’t need to be further addressed.
More information about Lesbian and Gay parenting myths visit the ACLU LGBT Project.
1freewomyn
wrote on 16 October 2009 at 12:26
Another great post, Andrea. I love your phrase “champions of inequality,” because that’s really what this is about. I totally agree – the foster care system is flooded with kids who need loving homes. Sadly, a good chunk of those kids are LGBTQ themselves. In LA County, it is estimated that 40%-60% of the kids in foster care are queer. In Long Beach alone, 70%-80% of the kids in foster care are queer. Who would provide a more loving home for a queerling than same-sex parents? They know what it’s like to struggle with the coming out process, they’ve made it through the hard times, and they can show queer kids that it’s possible to be successful and in a stable home environment. Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?
2Petursey
wrote on 16 October 2009 at 13:59
Superb well written and honest article !!!
3Andrea
wrote on 16 October 2009 at 15:50
Thanks, my proofreader kind of laughed about the ‘champaions of inequality’ because it is true.
Also, that is a very good point about lgbtq youth in the foster system. It would be great for them to have strong lgbtq role models in the home.
4Mrs. Mastro
wrote on 16 October 2009 at 20:27
Great post! It always fascinates me that the same arguments used against single mothers are now used against LGBT parents. Particularly since fifty plus years of research data shows that kids raised by single mothers turn out just fine, just as often as the kids of married heterosexual parents, especially once you account for financial strains.
As to the kids of gay parents getting teased, that whole argument just pisses me off. If these asshats weren’t out spreading lies about LGBT folks, perpetuating stereotypes and CREATING stigma around these relationships, the kids of LGBT folks wouldn’t get teased!
If having gay parents makes kids gay–which assumes from the beginning that being gay is bad–then how come straight parents raise gay kids?
And something else strikes me too–some of my favorite people (and some of the most stable adults I know) have/had really crappy parents of all stripes. Many of the people I know who came from bad situations came from the households of a straight married couple.
Yay for exposing the champions of inequality!