If you’re a political junkie like me, you know the professional punditry is once again buzzing about the ”fiscal cliff.” The definition, according to the NY Times’ cheat sheet: “the tax increases and spending cuts slated to take effect starting in January and totaling some $700 billion next year alone.” Stirring the pot today: Obama’s tiny wilting olive branch of an offer – extending the Bush tax cuts for another year for most and letting them expire for taxpayers earning more that $250,000 a year. I say before we head off into the “kicking the can down the road” portion of the economic meta-foreplay, we need to take a look at the cliff that is about to open up along the eastern edge of Arizona. ‘Cause there’s some major apocalyptic bullshit going on out there.
I know what you’re thinking: my geography’s off. It’s California that’s going to fall into the ocean first. All those fault lines … sin with a capital Ssssss … (You know what else goes Sssssss, right?!) Only a matter of time before Utah’s got prime beachfront property. (Ever wonder why so many tech companies have moved their headquarters to Salt Lake City? Step right up to the cabana. See for yourself. The state actually has an official West Coast Initiative.)
But now I think Arizona’s edging out California in the new left coast sweepstakes. Because governor Jan Brewer is quadrupling down on the right wing nuttery.
The latest in her long hard slog back to the good old days of lynching, back alley abortion, and slow death by closet, is a request for the Supreme Court — who just recently kept most of her state’s infamous anti-immigration policy intact – to overturn a law that allows state employees to keep their same-sex partners on their benefits, including health insurance. Either she’s trying to beat the Catholic Church or the Mormon Church or Messianic Jews or Muslim fundamentalists to the End Times, or it’s much, much worse — she’s auditioning for the role of Mitt Romney’s running mate.
Now, I love Arizona. I love my cacti and my scorpioni and my water restrictions. We’ve even been having our own hundred and umpteen temps in NYC this week in solidarity. And cliche be damned, some of my best friends really do live there. Many of them Democrats. I honestly do hope they get the state back from Governess Brewer before they have to start gathering up the poochies and loading them onto large wooden flotation devices. But Sarah Palin makes Jan Brewer look like a Master Stateswoman. (An oxymoron on so many levels, I know …)
So while I’m woefully, terrifyingly sorry, forgive me — I’m rooting for the lesser apocalypse. BRING ON THE CLIFF!
Jodi is a freelance writer and recovering academic with more enthusiasm for sports than athletic talent and a prodigious taste for the health food known as dark chocolate.